ElevenThings(of many)that I Learned on the Road to Divorce

I have learned many things on the road to divorce. These are just some of them.

1. If you think there might be something wrong with your relationship, you are probably right. It is NOT a phase that your partner is going through.

2. In reference to number one above, it doesn't work to ignore it.

3. If someone dumps you, it helps to have people around to validate you, that think that you are a worthwhile person.

4. You are not the horrible, worthless person that your partner claims you are. They are just telling you that to justify their own behavior.

5. Anti-depressants can help you if you are feeling so depressed that you don't have any energy to function. If you have more energy, you can do what you need to do to get on with your life.

6. Emotions aren't good or bad, they are just information. For example, if the idea of dating repulses you, you are not ready to do so.

7. Staying with an emotionally distant person because you are afraid to be alone is not worth it.

8. If you don't love yourself, it's hard to love another person because if you are dependent on another person for your sense of self-worth, you tend to put up with their crappy behavior to your own detriment.

9. It helps to connect with people that are going through or who have gone through the same thing because you don't feel so alone.

10. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you condone their behavior, but accepting it for what it is so that you can move on.

11. You also have to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the relationship, and learn from them so you don't make them in the next relationship.