Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day

It’s here again.

A sea of pink and red ugly stuffed bears and stale candy
greets me in the drugstore aisle.
Sappy, dripping, honeyed greeting cards with red hearts.
Be mine! I love you! XOXOXO!

The vile presence of Cupid appears.

“Pay homage to me. Worship me.
Bring me flowers, candy, diamonds, stuffed animals, cards!
Or I shoot you!”


Cupid flits around, stuffing drugstore candy into chubby cheeks.

I regard with contempt the fat, leering, winged vermin.
Be gone you flying fiend!

He smiles vacantly.

Sleepy eyes.

“Love me for I am superior to you.
You are nothing.”

I hurl a nearby handy object at him.

A box of condoms smacks his face.

He rubs his reddened cheek; swoops to pick up the box.
“Ribbed for her pleasure. What does this mean?”
He takes one out of the box and opens the wrapper. “A balloon?”

It dangles.

Stupid Cupid. I throw a box of candy at him.

He dodges it.

“Love me!” he commands. He drops the condom.

I heave flowers. Red rose petals explode on his face;
shower the floor like blood droplets. I pick up the condom.

“Come here Cupid.”

He approaches cautiously . I lunge.

I grab a tiny foot. I throw him to the ground.

Wrap the condom tightly around his neck.

He thrashes,
cherub cheeks turn blue;
then he grows still.

Die Valentine’s Day!

“Clean up, aisle eight,” I hear as I walk away.